An old house. A yard littered with dead VW campers. A shed. TESS walks up to the front door. She has a flyer. She knocks. A MAN answers.
MAN
What?
TESS
Hi, I’m, uh, I live over there. Like, right over there. My yard backs up to yours. Anyway I lost a chicken and I was wondering if you just happened to see a chicken run through your yard and maybe which direction it was going in.
MAN
I seen it.
TESS
You did!
MAN
Yup.
Beat.
TESS
Did you see, maybe, where it was going?
MAN
Nowhere fast.
TESS
Was it foraging in your yard?
MAN
It’s dead.
TESS
It’s dead?
MAN
Behind the shed.
TESS
Oh, I’m heartbroken. Want me to get it out of there for you?
MAN
Nope.
TESS
No?
MAN
Leave it.
Beat.
TESS
Uh…
MAN
It don’t need no Christian burial. Somethin’ ate it.
TESS
Oh my god.
MAN
Possum, raccoon, coyote maybe.
TESS
That’s awful.
MAN
That’s life. Temporary.
TESS
I can take the chicken so it was only in your yard temporarily.
MAN
No.
TESS
But it’s my chicken.
MAN
It’s my yard.
TESS
But–
MAN
It’s just bones and feathers. Leave it be.
Beat.
TESS
What are you gonna do with it?
MAN
Nothin’.
TESS
So–
MAN
Leave it. It’ll return to the earth in due time.
TESS
Is that what you’re doing with the vans?
MAN
Good-bye, neighbor whose yard butts up to mine.
TESS
Okay. Nice meeting you. Sorry about the dead chicken.
MAN
Don’t be. It’s supposed to be there. That’s why it is.
TESS
Uh, okay. Thank you.
MAN
Thank the universe. And get off my property.
He slams the front door shut. TESS turns, still holding the flyer. She walks off the property and then turns back to look at the shed. She looks at the flyer. She looks back at the shed. She pouts. She folds up the flyer and puts it in her pocket.
TESS
This calls for an Irish wake.
BLACKOUT
