Top Ten Signs You’re Too Old for “The Scene”

The author, present day, with her prized collection of salt and pepper shakers.
The author (left) circa 2007, performing with Crawling Chaos at City Ale House in Danbury.


10. More than one shot guarantees a hangover, no matter how many cheese fries you eat afterwards.

9. You can’t eat the cheese fries anyway because you’re on a diet.

8.  You see a twenty-year girl old with giant gauges and a Sailor Jerry neck tattoo, and feel disappointed in today’s youth.

7. You leave before the last band because you want to make it to Costco early the next morning.

The author, present day, with her prized collection of salt and pepper shakers.

6.  You’ve finally accepted that your own band won’t be going on a national tour any time soon.  Who would feed the cats?

5. You don’t know what post-hardcore is.

4.  You have to take an Adderall to stay up past eleven – well, a quarter of one.  Didn’t you used to snort that shit in college?

3.  You find yourself saying things like, “When I was your age, there weren’t so many female-fronted grindcore bands.”

2. You’re wearing the baggiest jeans of anybody at the show, dude or chick.

And the number one sign that you’re getting too old for “the scene” is…

1. “When did all these bands start sounding like shit?”



  1. #11 – Your husband falls asleep during Arcane Malevolence 😉

    I have some cool salt and pepper shakers you can have 🙂 And other housewarming gifts 🙂

  2. Well, Baldwin, you sure are great at blogging about your ideals!

    Vanessa, I’d love to add to the collection! And BTW, Mike love the salt and pepper shakers that came in the spice box you gave us for the shower. 😀 (How old do I sound now?? lol)

  3. When everyone else walks up to you and asks you one of two things: Are you a cop? or Do you need help finding your son?

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