10. More than one shot guarantees a hangover, no matter how many cheese fries you eat afterwards.
9. You can’t eat the cheese fries anyway because you’re on a diet.
8. You see a twenty-year girl old with giant gauges and a Sailor Jerry neck tattoo, and feel disappointed in today’s youth.
7. You leave before the last band because you want to make it to Costco early the next morning.
6. You’ve finally accepted that your own band won’t be going on a national tour any time soon. Who would feed the cats?
5. You don’t know what post-hardcore is.
4. You have to take an Adderall to stay up past eleven – well, a quarter of one. Didn’t you used to snort that shit in college?
3. You find yourself saying things like, “When I was your age, there weren’t so many female-fronted grindcore bands.”
2. You’re wearing the baggiest jeans of anybody at the show, dude or chick.
And the number one sign that you’re getting too old for “the scene” is…
1. “When did all these bands start sounding like shit?”