Disclaimer: Please note this says “modern feminism.” I obviously respect the women who fought for the right to vote, work, and do all the things that we women, today, do, without thought. It would be quite the world without them and they did us all a great service. But feminism served its purpose and is now an outdated concept that is based on female superiority, not equality, and I cannot get behind that.
Modern feminism is ugly. It hates men. It hates women who do not subscribe lock-step to everything that it supposedly represents. It spreads lies. It is a horrible movement that makes all women look bad, and even worse, devalues actual issues by relating things like catcalling or a man looking at a woman (aka “the male gaze”) to serious crimes like rape. As someone who was raped, I take great offense. How dare you take something that may or may not be problematic and elevate it to the same level as an actual life-altering crime. All because “feminism.” As if no woman ever stared at a man, or made an inappropriate comment towards one. Let she who has never sinned throw the first stone. Stop being victims.
The Argument Against Feminism
While making my breakfast this morning, I started thinking about why I dislike feminism so much. Back in high school, I parroted the words I heard from feminist punk bands, as “riot grrrl” was a thing (in my revised, older, learned opinion, an ignorant thing – starting with the name. Intentionally misspelling words to make a point isn’t clever, it makes you look stupid. The music was generally pretty good and I still like some of the bands. But I digress). I went to a very feminist college – the kind of place where modern day “male tears” drinking feminists would be right at home, even though it was years ago. I did not like it. It’s where my anti-feminist opinions took hold, listening to all these women professors railing against the invisible patriarchy, longing for some male voices, which were suspiciously absent (or neutered) in these great halls of oppressed women. Who ran everything. Who designed the courses. Who made up something like 95% of the student body. It was agonizing for me.
First, many of these very outspoken women, who were screaming about girl power and how oppressed they were by men, had no problem screaming down women for liking being feminine. For wearing dresses and makeup because that’s what they liked. For shaving/waxing because that’s what they were comfortable with. Or because, in my case, they hate body hair. And for – gasp – liking and not hating men. So nothing has really changed there.
But then there’s a whole other problem. It hit me then, just as it hits me now, nobody was holding these women and girls back but themselves. It’s so dangerous for older people to teach younger girls they are somehow held back by some “patriarchy” that keeps them from doing what they want. One, it gives these girls an excuse to fail. Or to not pursue their dreams. Why bother, when they horrible, awful, patriarchy will just come and crush them like the puny women they are? It teaches these girls to not stand on their own – that they are only strong with a group of their “sisters” with them, fighting their oppression. And it gives a huge power to their idea of patriarchy – it actually creates a vacuum of power that otherwise would not have existed. `When young girls are told how hard it is to make it in science – and that there are almost no women in science (which is controlled by the patriarchy and men who treat the women horribly) – how does that encourage or give incentive to women to enter the field? I would think “well, yes, this is interesting, but… why should I go somewhere I will have to fight harder than I will already have to fight to survive in this world?” (Making it in this world and being successful isn’t easy for anyone. Why tell women they will inherently have it harder, in order to push your agenda?)
I have disregarded the idea of a “patriarchy” for a couple of decades now, and forged my own path. I have worked at various jobs – advertising, media, law, public relations. These are the things that interest me. I have never been afraid of, or deferred to my male colleagues and have always been treated as an equal. (Ignoring the times I was the boss, where I was treated as the boss.) I have never been intimidated by any man, but then again, I have also never been intimidated by much of anything. I remember being told, “but that man has a law degree, he’s a lawyer! Are you sure you can handle this?” And I said, “Big deal. I know more about these specific laws than most people, and his degree doesn’t specialize in it. Also, he put his pants on one leg at a time this morning.” And the response? “But he’s powerful.” And I just laughed and said, “So, maybe he jumps into his pants, which is a pretty cool trick, but that still doesn’t scare me.” And you know what happened? I got everything I wanted and needed out of this “powerful” male lawyer. By simply not handing him my power. By not caring in the first place.
Furthermore, when I think back over my career about who taught me things and helped me advance along the way, it was almost always men. And when I think about who treated me the worst, who did underhanded things to cut me down or hold me back, it was almost always women. Because women have this persecution complex where they are always worried about proving something instead of just confidently proving something. That has to be the result of being told they are oppressed and they are going to be held back, and they better prepare to fight for that. Growing up, my mother always said “I don’t buy this feminist nonsense. I don’t need anyone’s permission to do what I want, I don’t need a cheering squad behind me for everything I do. I’m responsible for myself, and you should be, too. Tune all that garbage out.” That woman worked, took care of her ailing mother, and raised three successful daughters. Maybe modern feminists should take a page from her book and stop telling young girls how hard it will be, and how hard it can be, and instead, tell them, “we’re all equal, don’t let anyone put you down or hold you back. Find your power inside and do what you want. You’ll be fine.”
Of course, that would be too simple. They’d have nothing to be outraged by anymore, and they’d have a lot more competition in the market they have cornered. Stop buying into the lies.
The current topic du jour is “Gamergate” – which has ten thousand different shades of truth, so if you don’t know what it is, Google it and choose your truth. The whole thing centers around girl games (chicks who play video games) being “threatened” because they screamed feminism regarding the industry and how they are “treated” when they play. This extends to women complaining about how they are supposedly treated at comic stores, comic cons, so on and so forth.
And I’ll say it: It’s a load of crap.
Women… use your heads. Stop screaming about being a woman. Stop demanding things that already exist change because you decided you wanted to be a part of it. If you feel games or comics or whatever else somehow insult you as a woman (because you simply must be perpetually offended in order to be a proper feminist) well, make your own. See if you can sell them without fucking powerful people in the industry. You all seem to think that you have some viable complaint; that women need more representation and I don’t know, that something like “Random Chick Is the CEO” or “Male Tears” would really be a breakthrough hit.
(Note: It won’t.)
Here’s a shocking newsflash. Before you discovered video games, women have been playing them for years — decades — without problem. The same with comic books and action figures — if you go in the store wide-eyed, without knowledge, you will be treated as such. Male or female. Any woman who can hold her own isn’t intimidated by a fucking comic book store, no matter what Tumblr “social justice warriors” and feminists tell you. First hand: I have never had a problem, and I have been buying comics for over 20 years. Action figures, too. My apartment looks like a comic book store, only better. I venture to other states for cons and specific stores. And I know what the fuck I am talking about. I don’t expect special treatment for being a woman, I also don’t expect inferior treatment. And I don’t act as if I deserve either. I’m just another one of the gang. I love comics. And video games. And action figures. And wrestling. And football. And horror movies.
And it has never been a problem.
Why is it such a problem for feminists?
Well, obviously because they’re feminists. And feminism is a hate movement that wants to denigrate men, put them down, and make them feel stupid. That wants to scream “LOOK AT ME, I AM A WOMAN” while simultaneously screaming “YOU PIG, YOU LOOKED AT ME!” Where feminists want to cosplay half-naked and then complain about the “male gaze.” What the fuck did you expect? You dressed sexy so nobody would notice? I’m in no way condoning touching or harming someone for the way they are dressed (I hate being touched in general) but fuck’s sake. A “gaze” is not a bad thing. Or a crime. Or a problem. Get over yourselves.
I cannot be the only woman who has been in this culture for decades – literally decades – without a problem. I used to be a ringleader on Usenet groups for toys and wrestling and comics. I’ve been to more comic and horror cons than I can count with no problems. And it’s not like I am some homely beast. I just don’t feel superior or special because I’m female. I don’t think I am better than men. And I have always had male friends.
So look, feminists. Stop acting like idiots. Stop demanding extra attention. All of this will stop, I assure you, because people have better things than to worry about you and whatever you are interested in (and really, I feel like saying “interested” because this, too, is a passing fad for you.
And let’s go back to the workplace. Women are not paid less than men for the same jobs. Women are paid less than men when they choose different careers that pay less. That’s a fact. The “wage gap” is a myth. I have worked in management. Nobody ever said, “this job pays $45,000 a year… for a man… but it’s $35,000 for a woman.” That is not how it works. Many women choose lower paying jobs. Or work part time. Or work out deals with their bosses so they can be moms and work (hey, their choice. Not mine, as I am childfree, but their choice. I will earn more than the woman who takes off for school plays or kiddie vomiting or whatever else comes up – and I have heard it all over the years.
It ultimately comes down to this. In the world we live in, here, in the United States, in interests relevant to this site, women and men are equal. When I was in The Midnightmares, someone approached me to be on a “women who rock” show. I laughed. No. That would have been disrespectful to the men in my band. I was asked, “aren’t you proud to be a woman in rock?” I laughed harder. I was proud to be in a band. That was a life goal. And I always, always, held my own with the males. And I would never have demeaned my bandmates by saying “I cannot hold my own, so come into this self-appreciation party that is really a self-invoked ghetto”. I never had a problem not relying on some woman gimmick to get ahead. The same way I have at comic and horror cons, comic stores, toy/collectible stores, shows I was watching, shows I was playing, wrestling shows, jobs, and everything else I have ever done. Why? Because I don’t hate men, and I don’t have some inferiority – or superiority – complex. It’s amazing how far that goes.
Feminists, if you’re feeling victimized constantly? Try not always playing the victim. Not that I believe half of the things I read (such a woman being told not to buy “Captain America” because she’s prefer a “girl comic” – that simply does not happen in the real world). Stop looking for problems. Stop screaming “LOOK AT ME! I AM A FEMINIST… DOING THINGS!” Just live. Just do. I promise… life will get easier and you’ll stop seeing all these “problematic” (I hate that word… but It’s the vernacular) things that you see everywhere you go.
Life will be fun again. And you’ll be more liberated than you have yet to dream of.