Sunday Morning Metal Poetry

My favorite kind of poem is the split poem. Basically, they’re two separate poems that share the same universe, offer an alternate view or continue the theme established in the first poem into further territory. We’re keeping with the metal poetry theme here of course.


Rosaceae Death/Quantrill’s Children

Baroness – Blue Record


A little known Southern lesson

The Confederate army was known

To use blackberries as ammunition

Bruise blue double-barrel revolvers

Twelve pound Napoleon bramble haired cannons


It caught the Northerners by surprise

Fleshy drupelet bullets destroyed them

Like swarms of hornets they screamed

And every Confederate ambush

Ended in a black sea of fetid fruit in the humid sun

Blackberry plague flowers

Bloomed with petals of smoking human intestines

Pollinated in blue jelly


The Union died so quickly

They had no time to ponder the symbolism

How closely their blackberry wounds

Mirrored the blackness in their hearts

And the greasy skin beneath their uniforms




The little boy walked up to the body

A man down left behind from the battle

Somewhere on the Missouri/Kentucky line

Curious about the truth of what they say

Knelt down, and wiped his thumb

Across the fringe of his gaping chest wound


He was surprised, angry to learn

That there was nothing bitter in his blood

It was more like blackberries, ripe blackberries

Nothing remotely like the evil they claimed

Maybe black-hearted, but as sweet as anyone he ever knew


The little boy clapped his palms together

Rested his head against his fingertips

Prayed and mourned this death

Even though he never met this man

Because nobody else will




Fuckin-A Anime!/Lazerzzzzz

Strapping Young Lad – City


Hey all you animals!

Wire a bomb to an arcade machine!

Kablooie and bonzai and the sky is asteroid collision!

All flashing red and yellow starburst explosions!

City skyline like varying volume level measurements!

Up and down and up and down they go!

Action! Fucking take action! Now! Go!


Blast! Not sorry about that Blast!!

Ha! Stole the governing modulator device!

Speed racer, motherfuckers! Speed or move!

Or die, die die, DIE, DIE!!

Highway death by nosedive sucker punch!

Gotcha beat, sucka! Manic Panic City fo’ ya!

Color, color, COLOR y’all in red, red, RED!!


Call out to my tribes, and my man, my sensei!

Big atom nucleus go nuclear fo’ sho!

Diamond-plated raspberry star runs deep, yo!

Boom, blam, blop! Firing from all its proton spheres!

Buildings are shaking like pussy vibrators

Doubled-over, crouching in pain from them lazers!

There they go! Zap! Zing! Close call meteor showers!

Wham! Right in all your relentless hesitation!

You either fuckin’ fight or you’re fucked, dude


Word to your mother, make her a ray dancer

Just like the fool I made out of you




My girlfriend, completely unfuckable

We were at a bodega, buying orange drink

When the cashier shot her, point blank

For no reason with a keychain laser

Her head blew like a Gallagher watermelon

Bottom half of her skull like a broken bowl

Barely containing the glowing radiation


I drove her straight to the medic

The nurse knifed a circle in her bed

Pried open the mattress with a crowbar

There was a serious laser battle going on in there

Glowsticks bobbing in a fire well


I’m sorry my Russian dollface

But you lived in America, so down you go

That’s where we all have to go when we’re done

Even if I have to spike you in with a hydraulic press




New Yama/Markandeya Fulfilled

Mastodon – Crack the Skye


A young sophomore, sixteen and wants to die

Not out of misery or for attention

But to be a part of a bigger place

To escape a boring world of restraints

The mind-numb greenery, the gray city

The vapid idea of safe, short transitions

From man-made to man-made wheel


With Yama’s noose, he’ll abolish wheels

Tie himself to the pulling magnets of hell

Into Naraka, carpeted in trimmed fire

Swept with hanging ropes beaded with thorns

He’ll soon be lazing on a flat rock in a tar pool

Eaten of his sins by snickering rodents

Enduring real, true pain he’s only imagined


In his note to anybody who should find him

Antyesti uncooked rice to preserve

A Bic lighter and kindling to burn

A Mapquest summary of a place to the South

Where his dust is to be buried under a river

His favorite death metal albums placed

On bamboo sticks and grass carpet

Then burned with gasoline so they may join with him

In his afterlife in the underground




The messenger pawed the door

Took the teen by the wrist

Biting just enough to break skin

No blood shed until they arrive home


The messenger nudged with his nose

The client of death toward the hole

Where steep stairs dropped

Towards a tiny yellow light in the earth


The messenger grabbed his spirit

A ghostly white tag above his neck

And carried him down to the catacombs

Where he was made to hang his body


Then deeper down, wrapped around a fang

The teen’s spirit was escorted

Into the ebony columned chambers

Into the stale sweat of a feared, godly friend


The growl of Yama cleansed him

The licking tongue of the dog consoled him

As the noose removed, the chains in place

And the winds of change that he longed for

Howled like a barb-branded demon